I hadn’t planned on writing a blog this morning, until I advanced my travel calendar to today- the last day of the year. On December 31st, 2008 I read a quote by Leonardo Da Vinci- “Every now and then go away and have a little relaxation. To remain constantly at work will diminish your judgement.”
Well, it’s my first day off work for awhile. Through the Xmas season, which really got underway about the first to second week of December, I’ve had only two days off. It’s really repeled my desire to communicate with people. In such a small time, when you’re bombarded by people in both treatment of problems and salesmanship, one’s bound to resist and attempt -in a slow down -to simply talk. Lately, I’ve had no desire to deal with people. True, I started enthusiastically, as I always do. I love people, I love talk, but on a retail scale during the holidays- it truly becomes a job. When you twist personalities from every genre, every sex, every race into one crammed session of selling, it takes a point of decompression to regain yourself. A few days off is perfect.
Granted today, although off is not a “retreat” day.. you can’t actually get away from people on new years. I’m definately not an introvert and I do enjoy the company of people, friends, family- but lately- even I want to shut down the world to rest. I think I’m in need of the January “let down” to just recooperate.
There are two times I reevaluate myself and the beginning of the year is one of them. Nobody kicks my ass like my ego, which has been boiled down over the years to something inside a shrivelled little shell of a cranium. BUT every January and every August it’s like the grinches heart.. it grows into this big old monster who beats me relentlessly and attempts to move me to action. Usually, it’s pretty successful.. gets me planning at least. My problem is focus- always has been.
I call myself a professional juggler. I juggle numerous projects and although it some times takes me forever to complete one- I do it with style. I care for kids, I work a part-time job, I want to make a small screenplay into an art film, I have to work on music for a movie, I want to work on our third CD, I need to attend a pitch conference in New York, AND I MUST complete a re-edit of my manuscript which I will try in vain to sell this year (in addition to completing my current manuscript). Hmmmm, seems kinda a lot. Feels like I spin a lot of wheels, not really going anywhere… like I’m in neutral and gunning the gas.. makin lots of noise, but going no where.
Well, in the grand scheme of things, I feel all things lead somewhere and although I’m not sure exactly HOW I’m gonna get there. I’m confident the place will one day show itself and I’ll seize it. Being knocked down and dragged out, humbles you. I’m really ok with my position, even if it’s sort of floating from project to project. I sometimes wonder if this is what I was meant to do in life- be a project floater. Send out info over these invisible lines of communication, to set small fires on which heat will be built. Fires are built from sparks and should I be the flint to make the fire light, it’ll be so.
For this new year, I’ll continue to write and work my projects and be happy I’ve had the opportunity to share in this, as Louie Armstrong says “wonderful life”. Happy new year readers AND bless ya all.
What better way to wake up the day after Christmas, get Dunkin Donuts Coffee and watch a coffee special on National Geographic. Sure I have to be in work at noon and work till close, but I see nothing better than filling my “data base” with some newly acquired information attained to BS around the coffee machine. (NO we don’t have a coffee machine or even ready made cups- but I’d like to think in my imagination we do).
Since I’m extremely limited in time, and for the sake of a shower needed, I’ll let you in on one interesting fact regarding Folger’s Coffee. Basically, Folgers was established in the early 1840’s when the gold rush hit
We still see Folgers on the coffee shelves in the supermarket 150 years later.
There’s much to say about coffee and it’s history, and the coffee houses which so inspire those in the creative fields, however, one needs time to be on his/her side to explore the wisdom of such knowledge. In that light, let me leave you with a quote from a poster my parents got me for Christmas titled “What is Life”:
“Be who you are
and say what you feel
because those who mind don’t matter
and those who matter don’t mind”- Dr. Seuss
I have a wonderful red velvet jacket which usually makes an appearance some time during the Christmas season, every year now for at least five years. It does come out on other attention getting times, but I can always count on it to bring a little festivity to the holidays. Well, today I wore it.
The funny thing about my velvet jacket is it ALWAYS gets attention. In some ways good, in some ways bad. For some reason people who are a little “off” are always attracted to bright colors like red. I have no problem with this whatsoever, in fact, I kind of welcome it except when I’m hard at work.
I’ve started to work a part-time job to fund some projects I have for the Spring, and Christmas season is always the crazy time, after all it’s retail. Retail, as most of you know- SUCKS. It maximizes your hours used for work dedication and minimizes any choice of money. I swore years ago, I’d never end up back there after I managed a store, but as a part timer nowadays- it’s the only option which allows me flexibility in my hours to find a delicate balance. Nights and holidays… yea, I gotta work ‘em.
The good thing about where I work is I dress up once again. I always enjoyed wearing good chic clothes, but found myself lazy when I simply wrote or spent the valuable time I used to write. I’m a man of basic necessity, I get needs covered and only when I need to “present” myself, will I find myself dressing up and being my “former self”. I do enjoy it, don’t get me wrong… dressing up in fine clothes is something I REALLY enjoy, but there are other things which find themselves in front of that luxury I must achieve. It’s like the old Rolling Stones song from Only Rock & Roll- “Luxury” goes. Needs first, wants later.
This morning I was a CRAB. I’ve been lacking sleep and working like crazy. I was initiated into the work place at the end of November and given little direction to sink or swim. I know the biz, with the exception of the computer system, which I was forced into learning with dynamic speed considering it’s Christmas. I’m fast to learn, and to now, I’ve been able to get by.
I’ve developed some confidence to show off some of the fancier clothes, which in the past I may have reserved to a few of my close friends or people I considered the “inside circle” (no it’s not S&M wear, but more chic and funky stuff) which was the reason behind me adorning myself in the red velvet today.
I tossed the idea back and forth and said to myself- “Ya know self, ya get one time a year to get away with wearin this and it’s now or next year…” Soooooo- I did it.
In retail you get ALL kinds of people; from the brilliant and beautiful, to the dumb and idiotic. If you had a magnet to weed out the who was who, I think a red jacket might be it. Red is a strong color and people tend to gravitate towards it. I haven’t decided which kind it attracts up to now, but today at one point it almost felt like the strange and odd. It started when an older man who I’d classify as a 1970’s funk burnout approached. He was with what appeared to be his son. Both had large afros, his being interstrewn with grey hair. When I spoke with the man, he seemed really distant, off in a daze….. indecisive and could barely speak audible words. Granted it is the holidays and I give him the benefit of the doubt. We went back and forth with talk, but I couldn’t get a direction on him and he seemed clueless of what he was looking forward. I offer advice and try and direct, but I didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. I did take out something which was $650 and the guy’s body actually convulsed. Some things you just don’t need to be told, but sometimes you just can’t get away…..
I’m kind of attracted to the strange. It’s like a broken window you want to look through to detect what stone is inside. I enjoy this on days I have time, but NOT today. Today, you get ‘em in and get’em out…..
The VERY next customer was what I might classify as a “weiner”. EVERYTHING was “awwwwww or ughhhhhhhhh”.. “I don’t knowwwwwwwwwwww”, “I like it, but I don’t know…. she’s soooooo picky….. (Sure this ain’t you?!) Well, again the guy couldn’t pick a turtle outta a line up of people. I knew this terrible waste of time was because of my magic jacket. People want to talk, but again, NOT TODAY.
Everyone’s had the experience of being cornered into conversation they don’t want to be in… they’d rather avoid it at all costs, but try and be civil, kindly and polite. (At least this is what I’d imagine on my own instincts) BUT, once it begins they look for the escape, HOWEVER and whereever possible. I couldn’t seem to do it. Meanwhile people who need attention are giving you these looks which demand you, but you simply smile and nod in hope they understand. It doesn’t always work.
A few days ago a guy came over to me after a sale and asked for help. Fine, no problem- seemed like a nice guy. I get to the counter and a woman freaks out. “I was first! Why are you tending to him?!” she asks. He turns back (granted he’s about 6′3″ 300lbs and says “I went and got him, you didn’t”. It’s what I love about New Yorkers- simple and right out there. She was pissed, but he knew what he wanted, made a decision and BANG… it was there. With so many people around, you do your best to try and keep track and you can’t always meet the demands. I finished and was blindsided by another couple of guys who grabbed me- took me over to the same area with the same “bitch”. At this point, all her anger was directed at me.
I don’t take to kindly to people getting in my face. Being a former Customer Service Manager, I find it difficult to let the people blow their stack without putting them straight and easying the tensions. I excused myself to the guys and dealt with her. She was ok in the end, but she was still a bitch. I like chaos, but I know my place, and here I was just a cheaply paid marsupial.
Main point of this whole thing was 1) If you wear a red velvet jacket, be prepared to get attention from not just attractive people, but the crazy and insane. 2) When in a packed mall on Xmas eve, prepare to have fights on your hands- they’re gonna happen- and it’s unavoidable. 3) Keep your senses open and you’ll find a wealth of stories evolve from these experiences like those above AND 3) Avoid a retail career- it doesn’t pay.
Have yourselves a FANTASTIC Christmas all!!! Merry merry…. don’t be buggin…..