If I ever had an inkling I’d be somewhere down the line writing about hangers, I probably would have hung myself.
It’s come down to those silly little things which make our clothes so proudly displayed in our closet and over years we’ve accumulated all kinds. From the plastic bought ones, to the heavy duty suit and pant holders, pant buckle types and by far the most and poorly made ones were those shiny metal shitty ones you always receive when you pick up the dry cleaning.
For years now I’ve found this uncontrolable mess with half hung shirts, to big for the hanger suits, uneven ties and basic unorganization. Perhaps O.C.D. can develop after living in the wreckless life of chaos. I think I’m starting to take on the characteristics of our favorite TV detective- Monk. Anyways, an opportunity rose this past week- one which REALLY excited me: Wood hangers.
I know you’re thinkin- WHAT kinda guy could get excited about hangers? I ask myself the same. My answer is a “Simple one”.
Yes, all… I am a simple guy. It doesn’t take a lot to excite me, but when a new year comes along I think to myself, how can I better my existance? Writing about hangers??? No, that’s not it. Having a closet full of hangers?? No, that’s not it, either. ORGANIZATION… that’s it. Grabbing a sturdy hanger from the closet on which to put a washed shirt. It’s really comedic if ya ask me. Never in my existance did it occur to me my life would come down to a simple hanger.
Ya see, there’s something about the wood smell. I went to the Martin Guitar factory last year and if you could smell the scent of these freshly sanded wood guitars… it would have made ya go ape. No, these don’t smell like wood, the scent has far gone beneath coats of polyurethane, BUT it does bring a kinda natural existance- a recyclable piece of material should I grow tired, or run out of money, I could burn them and be warmed by the bonfire of wood and metal (I certainly couldn’t burn a guitar!).
A large retail store has recently gone out of business like many others in this horrible economy. The store was packed with merchandise and as the company lowered it’s prices on their goods to sell them off, there became an overabundant supply of good strong hangers. I’d priced them before in regular stores like Bed, Bath and Beyond and ruled them out until I found these gorgeous sturdy commercial hangers were selling 5 for a dollar. They were all beautiful pine, some stained to a walnut flavor- the rich looking kind. Well, I couldn’t resist.
I bought a few at first, just to try them out. They were goooooooood. All the jackets hung perfectly and wouldn’t ya know they matched the hard wood floors (uh oh, more of that OCD thing happenin…..)
Well, since the store is in it’s last days, they have boxes and boxes of these things. I thought to myself- “Hey, self- we’re in a new place… what better time to get your shit together than in a new place, in a new year! You better go back and get more before someone thinks of doing the same!”
Yesterday afternoon, I bought about 60 hangers AND it’s wasn’t enough….. I did the hall closet first. The one everyone who comes over sees. DAMN, did it look good! Then I did the downstairs with the dark wood ones cause of the carpet… AGAIN, I impressed myself. All the sudden, I’m rippin out clothes throwin down hangers, redoing all the closets to make them perfect. Perhaps I’m getting “mentally challenged”, but any interior designer would have been impressed. Last night, I went back and bought 120.. oh, I’m ailing…..
There it was uniformity! All there. It was sooooo gorgeous, like a beautiful cactus flower emerging from it’s bud in a desert sky.
I’m an obsessive guy- I admit to this fully. When I’m dedicated to a project, and form my own pressure bubble I’m there entirely! All the sudden yesterday, years of unease came in a wave of purchasing coat hangers. I mean, it could have been like unearthing a treasure chest of jewels for me! I could picture myself tossing all shapes and color variations of wood coat hangers in the air and holding my arms over my head to keep from getting it bashed in. It was joyous, it was marvelous… BUT… I’m still not done. The obsession is pounding me as I write to you. I have 3 closets left… and 7 days. That’s when the store closes for good.
My concious speaking - Steve, what if one of those wholesalers realizes the opportunity they have at picking up these hangers for practically nothing… you’ll have nothing… you better get moving.. Damn you, concious!!! See you later all- gotta buy hangers!